Wednesday, December 14, 2011
I gave up the hope of ever bike riding again since first being diagnosed with ra. I didn't own a bike at the time but I had always envisioned myself peddling freely about, wind whipping through my hair with my cheeks red from the speed of it all. For thirteen years I looked on in envy as others would fly past me as I slowly paced the paths in Smoaks, Burbank, Valencia, Edison and finally Wilmington. I couldn't help but brush away a stray tear every once in awhile as I realized what I had lost. Perhaps it was the pain of a fading memory, perhaps it was that I couldn't hold onto the passing time, or perhaps its was just another loss due to ra. No matter the reason, I felt it.
For thirteen years I have wondered if I could possible ride again. Could my ra body allow me the freedom I had so joyously found in bike riding? Could I possible have the strength of body, the will of soul to climb back on a bike and peddle back into my childhood dreams?
I just had to know. I was fortunate in that I found a wonderful bike that was up for adoption in a yard sale. During my friend's recent visit, we went foraging about for fantastic finds on a warm Saturday morn. There she was! Her green body, straight handle bars and luscious seat beckoned me. I quickly claimed her as mine! And for a mere $25.
My friend ever so gently helped me carry her home. I proudly wheeled her into our garage and inspected her. Her tires were in great shape. Her body even better. And oh that seat. Not only was it softer then most it was also larger then most bike seats. Perfect for my 54 year old derriere. Oh how I wanted to hop on her and careen down my driveway out into the world. But my debut ride would have to wait. My joints just weren't cooperating during those early fall months for my maiden voyage.
She sat. I would spy her looking at me when I went to do the laundry. On occasion I would run my hand over her smooth frame in anticipation. I would gently squeeze her handled breaks in the hope of regaining enough strength. She beckoned me. She quietly waited for my body to regain its stamina and courage. She did not judge. She did not scorn. She did not ridicule. She waited patiently.
The day of reckoning arrived. Slowly the automatic garage door opened. I felt like I was on a huge stage and the butterflies in my stomach told the story. I rolled her carefully out of the protective walls, mounted her gingerly and coasted down the driveway.
I carefully turned towards the right and headed out. The sun beat on my brunette head while I propelled forward. With no cars in sight, I cranked up the speed a bit. It was glorious! True, every single joint in my body screamed in rebellion but I cycled on. I made it to the end of the street and even did a u-turn without incident! It was glorious. Pure and utter determination carried me on that journey.
True, it was a short journey compared to many a cyclist story but to me it was glorious. I accomplished what I set out to do. I rode a bike again!
Will I continue riding you are wondering? Not in the real sense of the word but surely I will forever be riding that memory in my heart and in my head. RA has not stolen my determination or my ability to believe in myself but it has taken away the strength in my hands. My bike needs to find a new home and with an owner that will ride her with pride. She deserves that!
For me she was a passing friend but one that will forever be remembered as a soul mate.
Number five is now done on my bucket list!
Did I hear someone mention hang gliding on their bucket list?
Please don't ever give up on your dreams. Is there a dream you have that you are accomplishing? Is there a dream you want to accomplish but haven't? I would love to know how you accomplished this dream with ra or how you plan on accomplishing your dream.